I think I have stopped loving him
I am so sorry, so sorry for everything. I can’t help it, I can’t fight the way I feel. I don’t know when it started, when it happened, but it did. I don’t think I love him anymore. I want to take all my I love yous back and all the time we spent together back because I rather have had nothing than to ever hurt this beautiful human. There isn’t a reason. Its not the distance, its not that he is not good for me. I want the feeling to come back, I want to make him the center of my life again, but I have to swallow hard before I tell him that I love him now. Its harder to tell him I love you at the end of a conversation than it is to tell a stranger the same thing. Its torture, knowing that he loves me more than I love him. I want to disappear. How can I be so careless with his heart, with his precious precious heart? What have I done? Can the heavens help me? I want to turn time back, I want to capture love in a bottle so that I may never lose the sensations that I felt when I was with him. But I can’t. So I am here, lying to him every single day. Hell will claim my soul when I die for I have done so much wrong to him.
