Hello again
Why hello again
Its been a long time since I have posted anything here, but I guess the blogging bug is back. Life is so suffocating now and it might be a good idea to let some emotions out.
Ive just come back from Australia. I went there with the sole purpose of visiting the boy. I thought that it would have been a good idea to break things off once and for all on the last day and forced myself to promise that no matter what, that was going to be the ending to the trip. Obviously, it was a plan that had no chance of realization. It has been six months since we last saw the other.
Every cell in my body just wanted to hold him and tell him that it was okay. The fights we had, its fine. The distance that has caused one too many nights in tears, that was fine too. Our differences, the way we look at the world, the things we like to eat, the activities we adore, the hours we (or rather I) spend idling in bed, how fierce he is and how crazy I can get.. everything gets thrown in the backseat when you see person that fills your life with colors after a freaking six months.
I swear relationships were not meant to be like ours. We are normal in that we frequently mutually antagonize for no good reason, I love cuddling and he loves wild making out, he hates meeting the family and I cant wait to properly meet his.. But we live 5,000 miles apart and getting to him can be anything from a 5 hr flight to a 16 hr one. If the distance breaks my heart every single day, wont it be better if we just looked for another? Another that would be able to be there when we fall apart. To kiss when we want to, to hold us as we sleep. Somehow, this logic failed me as he held me so tight and close and whispered ever so softly that he missed me.
As I fell asleep in his arms on my last night in Aust, I knew that I could ask for nothing more. He makes the distance and the wait worthwhile. I think I might have found the man I can wait my entire life for. And I hope that I will never forget how I feel right now, especially when the going gets tough for us, as I know it will.
